A Night on the Town

You know you are 30 when you prepare for a night out with the girls by squeezing in one last chapter of your book while you wait for your lift.  This is just after you have spent the last half hour going through various outfits, attempting to find something both warm and appropriate for dancing.  I went from tights and a short skirt, to jeggings and strappy heels, to finally settling on jeggings with thermal socks and boots.  Oh, and I managed to hide a warm singlet under my sparkly top too.  Yep, definitely 30!

As I was packing up a purse, I asked Marty which card I should take.  He replied "yours".  I batted my eyelashes: "I don't have any money left".  He told me I should have budgeted better.  And then let me take our EFTPOS card.  Love you babe!  Next, I considered whether to take my drivers licence for ID...and then I realised that I AM THIRTY!  For goodness sake, surely I don't need ID anymore (sigh of sadness).

Out for dessert in a hip little place on the pier, our girls night was going great, and we were having a wonderful time out...when it suddenly hit me that our lively and interesting conversation was all about The Wiggles.  Oh dear.  How cool are we? Take us away from our kids and we end up talking about them.  Next topic please!

We made our way into a known hot spot, and were just walking up the steps when a big burly bouncer stepped in front of me and said "Have you got some ID ladies?".  OH. MY. GOSH.  I think I actually squeeled with the glee, before I asked him if he was serious.  Without a hint of a smile, he assured me he was.  Pretty much jumping up and down with sheer joy by this stage, I told him that "I hadn't bought any with me...I was 30, would he like to see a photo of my 3 children on my phone?"  He looked at me for a moment, and then after a word with his co-bouncer (who told him to let us in) he moved aside and let me in.  Hehehe...made my week!

We settled down on some plush sofas by the fireplace,  waiting until it finally got late enough that there would be some dance music playing and hopefully a few people on the dance floor to help our confidence along.  In Napier, this means waiting until midnight strikes.  I got myself a drink, just about choking at the $8.50 I was charged for my short glass.  My, times have changed.

And this is when the night got really entertaining.  A bloke about our age wandered over and asked if he could warm himself up by the fire.  Goodness, it's not my fire, so I nodded that he could stand near for a while.  Well, the guy promptly plonked himself down on the arm of the sofa!  Vicki Lee giggled at the look on my face as I wiggled closer to her side of the couch.

"What are you ladies up to tonight?" the hopeful lad asked us.
"Oh, you know, you having a girls night out without our HUSBANDS and CHILDREN" I casually replied to him.
...With that out of the way, he recovered very well and didn't just get up and walk away, but stuck around and chatted for a while about our children's ages and husbands occupations.  I am not sure he knew what an evangelist was actually, when Vicki Lee told him her husband's job title!  

Anne Marie was having trouble getting a decent photo of us all by holding her phone out, so our new friend took our photo for us.  Eventually he went back to his workmates that he was out with - I think they felt a bit left out because they brought us all a round of drinks and invited us to come and chat with them.  We politely declined, decided that now was a great time to hit the dance floor, which had just started warming up a little.

It didn't take long before our dancing trio became 5, as two guys somehow managed to join our wee circle of fun.  That was ok, we don't mind being friendly and dancing is always fun with more...I just made sure that part of my awesome dance moves included waving my wedding ring in their face a few times.  These guys were very gracious though, and asked us if we would like them to turn around and dance elsewhere..one of them yelled in my ear over the music something along the lines of "have a dance...then go home...not being a jerk....all good!".  With a few eye messages between us girls, we decided that they were just out to enjoy the music and have a dance like us girls, so we allowed them to stay.  After an hour of sweating, jumping and twisting to songs such as "Billy Jean", "Mambo #5", "Footloose", "Loveshack" and "I gotta feeling", we waved goodbye to the guys and headed outside - ears now ringing with deafness.

We left at 1.15am...and at 7am this morning I was up again, getting ready to take Jaimee to her gymnastics testing day and Kate to her swimming lessons.  And so the real life returns...with a coffee firmly grasped in my hand.

What a great night out!  I Can't wait for next month, when we plan on doing it all over again...

In our house....

In our house, we had 7 little girls playing all together. Such fun!

In our house, there is a lot of snot this week.  As I type, the girls and I are cuddled up watching Disney's "The Sword in the Stone" on a Tuesday morning, with a box of tissues next to the two sniffing girls and an equally blocked up baby in bed (meant to be napping, but it doesn't sound like its going to happen).  I am a bit drippy too, but still managing to ignore it...let's hope mummy stays well.  Jaimee probably could have gone to school, but I took pity on her blocked up self with one week to go until holidays, I think she is well ready for a break.  We all are ready for the holidays in our house.

In our house, Jaimee has just got new shoes - a huge event in our house, where my girls are generally in the same size shoe. She got some silver sequined flats to wear with her tights...and poor Kate is so jealous! Kate is our resident shoe girl, and she had her turn a few months back when she got some pretty pink 'ballet' flats all for herself. But they were forgotten in the fresh sight of sparkles, and at dinner time last night, this was her heartfelt prayer:
"Dear God, thank you for our food. Thank you for our day. Please help me not to be jealous about Jaimee's sparkly shoes. Amen."
Marty and I sneaked a grin at each other at the sheer honesty and genuine desire to have a good attitude!

In our house, the adults are feeling a bit sore this week.  Last night, we did the first of a new 5 DVD series we purchased: "Jillian Michaels: The Biggest Winner!"  She is the personal trainer featured on the show "The Biggest Loser" and she was MEAN.    With lines like "you should be in constant pain", "you brought this DVD, you want it...now you have to do the work" and yelling at us to do it again, lift our knees higher - both Marty and I were like jelly at the end of the half hour.    The girls always hop out of bed and come and tell us off for jumping like a herd of elephants while they are trying to sleep!  It is worth it though, I am definitely noticing a difference.

In our house, Luke was the baby King and Kate was the dragon.

In our house, Luke wants to stand up but is just not quite there yet. This is resulting in a few tumbles and a few tears. Yesterday I giggled as he tried to move around from holding onto the armchair to holding onto the couch - a move that required him to take just one step unaided. He reached out...and promptly collapsed on the floor, howling in frustration. It's OK baby boy, you will be running soon enough!

Anyway, that's whats going on in our house at the moment.  Till next blog....

Insecurities

On Tuesday night this week, I hosted our woman's Bible Study group at my place.  There is about 15 ladies in the group...3 ladies came.

Now I am well aware that it is winter, people have sick kids and tired bodies, and I KNOW that there is no reason to think like this....

....but that stupid little voice that has haunted me for years and years piped up once again "perhaps they didn't want to come to your house....maybe they couldn't deal with your noisy, loud self today...they only put up with you on other nights because you invited yourself along to this group in the first place"

Now - don't get me wrong.  I KNOW that this is not true.  Because I know these ladies.  And they are amazing.  And lovely, kind and genuine.  They are the ladies probably reading this thinking they must send me an encouragement note or something.   Well ladies, you don't need to.  I know you love me...and I love you back.

But that stupid voice has been bothering me since I was a kid.  At 13 I got popped into one of those "low self esteem" workshop groups at high school.  How embarrassing, but hey - my entire class had created an "I HATE NIKKI" club, complete with membership badges....I would have popped me into that group as well if I had been my teacher.

It just bothers me that I STILL let it creep up on me in those quiet moments.  I am a grown women, secure in the love of God - I don't NEED the approval of those around me, so why do I WANT it so bad.  And even when I HAVE it...why do I question it?  ARGH!

 I am going to guess that this is the way that Satan tries hard to break my relationship with God, to damage me and make me feel worthless. To pull me away from those who do care and to close myself off.  I will not let this happen.  I will remember that I am wonderfully made.  And I am recording this blog and  so that my kids (who I hope never suffer low self esteem like I did/do) will know that this is a trick of the devil...this is a ploy to break you...and a very powerful one.  My children, you are loved.  By God and by me.  And by numerous other people.....As am I.  Do NOT forget it.

What prompted me to write this blog?  Funny story....I was sitting on the couch, ipod in hand, about to post something dumb on facebook about how I still suffer from 'that voice'....when the ipod suddenly went blank on me.  I frowned, getting annoyed that the silly thing crashed...when just as suddenly, the screen lit up again and my bible software opened on the ipod out of the blue.  How weird is that?! And a good reminder of where to turn when feelings get low.

Am I normal?

As Marty and I were huffing through a series of squat jumps together last night to a DVD, I suddenly questioned the normality of our family life. Do other couples exercise together to fitness DVDs? I am almost positively sure the answer is no. And then I got to wondering just how unusual some of our 'normal' is.

Do other wives make their husbands 'do' the kids routines from after dinner until morning time? Marty pretty much takes care of things from the moment the kids finish dinner (stories, teeth, devotions, prayers) while I clean up the kitchen, and then take a breather to check the emails or...as I am doing now...write a blog. He gets up to them if they wake in the night while I roll back over and go to sleep like the pampered princess that I am.

Do other husbands bring their wives breakfast every morning in bed? Marty brings me breakfast and coffee without fail at 7am each weekday morning, knowing that I will probably skip breakfast if I get up without it forced on me. He also gets the girls their breakfast while I eat, do my bible study and then get dressed. I don't normally emerge from my sanctuary of the bedroom until 7.30am. Is this normal?

Am I a freak for scheduling every job in my week into a planner? I have a baking day, a washing day, a vaccuming day....even Kate knows which day I mop the floors on(which brings me to another point - am I normal in cleaning my lino floors by hand?)! Is this a really pathetic and OCD thing to do, or am I normal here? Who knows.

I even got to laughing with a friend today as I asked her if it is weird that I don't find sexy movie stars attractive? Seriously, those ripped bodies and adorable eyes just don't do it for me. I can't even think of anybody in the whole world that I would want to be with, even for a night or in a dream, except Marty....and then I sometimes wonder if this is normal thoughts. Even if it is not, I don't mind on this one!!!

I could go on for ages longer about our possibly normal, possibly abnormal daily practices.

Is it normal that I wait until the kids are in bed before I pull out the junk food so that they can't ask me to share? Is it normal that we film our kids every few months just in case we miss some cute stage? Is it normal that I still do photo albums...or that I print 4 copies of each photo: one for each child's album and one for ours? Is it normal that I make Jaimee do a little bit of reading, spelling and maths 4 nights a week? Am I strange that I write a blog about nothing in particular? Is it normal that Marty and I have no interest in DIY or working on the house in our weekends/holidays at all? Is it normal that we have to drag our kids out of bed every morning at 7.15am? Is it normal that they go to bed before7pm? Is it normal that most nights I just want to blob on the couch with the TV on? Is it normal that an acceptable'date night' with my husband could be playing wii games together when the kids are in bed? ...And of course....then there is the fitness DVD thing....

...I have a feeling that we are not that normal actually when I look at all that. But what is normal anyway? I bet you all do things that other people would think was a bit odd too. We are a strange and funny little family. But we have so much fun, and some of our very abnormal practices make our family life peaceful, functional and joyful. So that's ok with me. I will be abnormal...and be happy with it!

Granny's Art Exhibition

Today we took the girls to their very first art exhibition, where Granny had 3 of her pictures on display (and two had already sold).  This afternoon turned out to be a surprisingly fun family outing, as we all took our time admiring the many different types of art work on display.  Marty and I really liked some of the bold canvases, but at close to $3,000 they were a little out of our price range!  That's ok though, a few whispered conversations with Granny and we have decided she could whip us up something similar when we finally get around to doing up our kitchen/dining area.  hehehe....it is useful having talent in the family - it's just a pity the talent pool didn't stretch my way.  

Seriously, with the amount of amazing artists that we have in our family (on both sides too), you would think that just a smidgeon would have come my way.  Sigh.  I have a grandmother who has had many exhibitions of her own, a grandfather who was a carpenter, a mother, uncle and 2 aunts who all show and sell their work - and let's not even mention the various talented cousins who do everything from sculpting to sketching to body art.  Ah well, I will stick to card making as my creative outlet.  

We had a great time wandering around the art today though, talking to the girls about the different medians, texture and detail in each piece of art they saw.  Jaimee was drawn to the water colors, Kate was drawn to the bright pictures and the animals.  With no entry fee, and an hour of educational family time - this is definitely something we will be adding to our list of "things to do" as a family. 

I will be encouraging the girls to make use of this experience, we will get the paints and pastels out this week to see what they can come up with now that their creative juices are flowing.  Perhaps the artistic flare will just skip my generation... 

And well done Granny, we are pleased that they gave us special permission (and an escort) to take this photo to remind us of how clever you are!  

Gymnastics Festival

Today Jaimee took part in the "interschool gymnastics festival".  She looked so cute in her leotard and did a beautiful job of the routines she had to learn.  Jaimee's cousin Brianna was also taking part with her school, so the girls had a full audience with 7 adults and 4 preschoolers cheering them on!  

Here is Jaimee doing her thing....not bad considering 2 years ago she had full open hip surgery eh?!  

Well done darling girl, you did a great job and we loved watching you.

A cruisy lifestyle? Think again!

WHEW.  It has been one of those weeks.  It didn't start out like that, it just kind of snowballed.  Last weekend we did our power famine, and for the next few days we piggy backed off that wonderful world without technology.  No blogs or ipod games (only a quick peek at facebook!), No TV, more board games, LOTS of reading.  It was wonderful.  When I get into a good book, everything else can easily be swept under the carpet, and I was reading The Hunger Games Trilogy in every spare moment I could find (The ending was a bit rushed, but otherwise it was gripping)...and so my bookworm nature was satisfied like after a good meal.  Ahh, bliss.     That peaceful, cozy winter pace (cushioned around my normal weekly responsibilities) lasted until about Thursday morning when I got woken up and snapped back into my crazy life with a bang.

Sometimes I get the feeling that people think I have such a perfect cruisy life because I don't work full time.   What a dream, right?!   I understand - and they are right in a way, we have budgeted and sacrificed the extra income we could have in order to give me a more balanced lifestyle.   I simply don't function that well when life is too full of responsibility, pressure and tasks with a deadline.  I start to panic that something will be forgotten and get rather fragile, upset, run down and grumpy - hence my tendency to roster and schedule my life.  I love lists and timetables.    When we made the decision to have Luke, I wasn't sure I would cope with holding down two jobs, and I was right - when he was 5 months old it got too much for me, and I quit one job and reduced my hours in my other job.  I think I have a pretty achievable schedule now though, I try and balance things so that I don't get that panicked feeling very often....although its weeks like this one that make me start to freak out a little and want to quit everything.

Back to Thursday - a work day for me.  I had finally taken the first steps to get our playgroup registered with the Ministry of Education, and had a visit from them today.  It went really really well, but the amount of documents I have to create, forms I have to fill in, finances and equipment I need to get sorted...well, lets just say I need more then my meager 7 hours in the office a week to do it. And unfortunately I have to have everything ready in just 2 weeks if we want to get our funding for the next 6 month period.  That pressure does not sit well with me, and Friday was spent frantically trying to get things organised.  I went into the weekend knowing that I had barely made a dent in my "to do" list, and half the things that I DID achieve need to be done weekly, so next week is a repeat on them before I can try to tackle the Ministry list.  Sigh.

Saturday and Sunday were jam packed with church events that kept us all busy and all the kids are sniffing and coughing today after the late nights took their toll.  Finally, today was a 'home day' - the one day of the week that I work very hard to keep free from all commitments.  How did I spend it?  Those same people who think that I have the perfect life probably think that I curled up with a book or played on the internet all day or something.

I didn't.

This is what I do with my day off:
I started the day cleaning up one of those dirty nappies that required a complete change of outfit.  Good morning world!  Then I washed the windows, cleaned out the rabbit cage, played board games with Kate, made 2 loaves of bread (one to give away), baked muffins and slice for the week, cleaned fly poo off the ceilings in the kitchen and bathroom, washed the skylight cover, taught Kate how to ride a 2 wheeler (well, started the process), fed the kids, started updating the photo albums (its going to take a while), did the dishes, played with Luke, did homework with Jaimee....you get the idea.  And this is pretty much how every 'spare' moment I have is spent.

I admit that I LOVE my Friday in the office (even with all the jobs to be done) - it is such a treat to take off my 'mummy/housewife" hat for a few hours and pop on my "team leader/Nikki" hat.  I sit down at my computer with a coffee and drink it WHILE IT IS STILL HOT!!  I guess I have the best of both worlds, home and work, kid time and a smattering of me time -  and I am very grateful, I wouldn't trade it for a second. But boy, it sure is busy juggling it all!

Putt Putt in Pearls

I just couldn't resist popping this photo of Marty's Nana playing mini golf with us all yesterday up....how cool is she, putt-putting in her pearl necklace as only a Nana can!  We all went out for a game yesterday to celebrate Marty's step-dads birthday.    Of course, Marty couldn't do anything except win( it would have been pretty sad if he spent all that time playing golf and then can't even win a game of putt-putt), but we were all pretty impressed with dear old Nana, who managed to come third equal and beat me by a long shot!    

 We had lots of fun, once the kids got past the normal dramas they tend to create whenever they get together.  Jaimee and Kate were content to roam around the mostly empty course, playing a sort of hockey/mini golf game with a lot of hand use and sweeping the ball going on!  Brianna, being a year older then Jaimee, was determined to play with the adults and keep score - she actually turned out to have quite a knack for the game, it won't be long before she is beating her terrible golfer aunty (that's me).

It's nice that we get together with the family.  I didn't really hang out that much with my own extended family an awful lot and my grandparents were not local to us, so its special to be a part of this close knit bunch that Marty has brought into my life.

After a late afternoon tea together, we headed home, and I just had to capture the AMAZING sunset that God painted for us.  It was majestic. As Kate exclaimed: "It's a miracle!".

 

Our 40 Hour Power Famine!

This year, we felt challenged to take the plunge as a family and do the "World Vision 40 Hour Famine".  This is a great event that has been going for years as a way to raise awareness and money for World Vision, who distribute the money to the very needy overseas - this year, the money was going to children in Mali and Niger.  As a child, I have fond memories of doing the famine with my church, armed with hundreds of barley sugars and lots of juice.  As an adult, my body just can't handle going without food like that, I just end up with the shakes, but World Vision have come up with an alternative - why not 'go without' something else instead of food?

Our family decided to go without electricity for 40 hours after some thought about what we really rely on as a family.  Power is a pretty big thing for us, we love our technology and spend most evenings with the computer and TV on - and of course, lighting is always well used!  We did decide that it wouldn't be fair to make Luke do the famine though, so we left the heating on (anyway, its gas!).

Please know that we are NOT the camping type.  When we go away, we stay in motels.  As a child, we camped fairly often, but we had a "pop-up caravan", which we plugged into various camping sites for power so it wasn't that bad.  Down here in the Hawkes Bay, we have lots of friends who go 'proper' camping, I guess one day we will join them, but it really doesn't appeal to me to be without hot showers and walls, so far we have avoided it with fairly valid excuses of babies needing sleep.

So when we started our famine, we found we were not well equip to deal with 40 hours without power.  We don't have all those cool camping tools.  I think we spent about $100 getting candles, torches, batteries and a single gas cooker to see us through.  Ah well, all stuff we should own anyway in earthquake zone!
At 4.45pm (we started at 5pm Friday) I had managed to have a hot shower and read the instructions for the cooker, and was hanging out the washing I had hastily done in the nick of time.  The lights were turned off (and various other switches) at 5pm on the dot, and we plunged into a state of dusky darkness.  The girls ran for their torches, very excited, while I yelled out to them not to waste the batteries straight away. At 5.30pm Kate wanted to watch TV.  Sorry darling!  Luckily, daddy came home and a noisy game of hide and seek with the torches started while I made omelettes for dinner by candlelight and Luke crawled around the house in the darkness.
 The flash was on in this photo, it really was quite dark!!

I learnt a few things about myself that first night.  I learnt that I don't really like the dark.  It made me feel a bit claustrophobic not to be able to see everywhere in the usual cheerful warmth of a good light.   Light makes me feel safe and warm.  I now understand better why Jesus kept saying that that HE was the LIGHT of the world - he lived in a time of the world where there was no power, and any source of light would have been welcoming, comforting and would draw you in.  What a great metaphor for Jesus!

I thought about those who don't have power, and how many in these poorer countries go to bed and rise with the sun.  It all makes sense now.  I learnt that in order to function without light, it is useful to have more than just a few pretty candles.  Marty and I attempted to play cards by the light of about 10 candles around us.  Not so easy to see what cards I had!    It was tricky to do the simplest of tasks in the darkness, getting Luke ready for bed or reading the girls a bedtime story.  On Saturday morning I caved in and purchased a camp lantern, and Saturday night was much easier to cope with.  More than once, my thoughts turned to Christchurch, and I considered just how traumatic it must have been to be in darkness for so long - and we had left our fridge/freezer on, so didn't even have to worry about food going off.

I learnt that I enjoy the comfort of noise around me in the evenings.  This probably stems back to my anxiety issues I had a couple of years ago.  I still don't like listening to the noises of our wider community, and the TV etc do a good job of drowning them out and creating a nice false illusion that we are alone in our bubble of the world.  It was a very very LONG Friday night after the kids went to bed. I think Marty and I went to bed at about 8.30pm in the end, where normally we are up until 10.30pm.  On Saturday night he taught me how to play Monopoly.  I had lots of fun - until I realized that even though I had more property then him, he had built bigger hotels then me and was taking all my money!  Hmm... I think a rematch is in order.

flash was on here...pudding by dim candlelight!

I missed my fan heater too.  I love my fan heater on those cold mornings and when I get ready for bed too.  Although we had our central heating on, I didn't find out until later that Marty had turned it off once the kids went to bed - no wonder I was freezing!!  I shivered my way through changing, and my thoughts once again turned to the things we take for granted that so many don't have the luxury of having.  For example, It took quite a while to do the dishes without hot water.  We had to boil the water on the gas cooker twice to get enough to wash them, making what is normally a quick job a fairly lengthy process. How blessed are we to have hot water that comes out of a tap?!  There were many prayers of thanksgiving said over these 40 hours.

Luke plays outside in a role reversal with Misty!

During the day, we did faith-box with the girls, including lots of prayers together for our sponsored children overseas who we hoped the girls now had a better understanding of their living situation.  I also cleaned the oven (hey, it was cold so a good opportunity), played outside with the kids, finished my book and we all went and watched Marty play soccer.

The girls LOVED eating by candlelight and playing in the dark.  We enjoyed the time playing board games with each other and the lessons we were able to learn together.  It was not easy, but it certainly made us think a lot about what we have.  And the best news? We have raised over $200 towards the children in Mali and Niger....that's enough to feed about 40 hungry children for a month!  You can still donate if you want to - just click on this link.